Wednesday, June 20, 2012

My Gold Star

Three kids must be the tipping point.  The point where you feel out of control and can't quite manage to get your ducks in a row- even if you try really really hard.  Inevitably, the newborn will awaken early from a nap, making it quite apparent that feeding him is what's next on your plate.  Or perhaps you are already sitting there feeding that said newborn and one of the older ones calls from the bathroom that they are "all done." Sigh.  That is what my past couple of weeks have been like.  I haven't quite been able to get it together.  We are sort of surviving around here- at least that's what I feel like.  OR perhaps my expectations are too high.  I have yet to give myself grace on balancing a newborn, two big boys, and a clean home.  I have yet to just give myself a pass.  I am a control freak at heart and want everything to go smoothly and honestly I dream about days when I can do crafts, teach, run around with, and invest in my children in my sparkly clean home and put something really delicious on the table that night. Yes, I strive for that.  I'm ridiculous.

My husband has been sensing my angst about not having it together and this morning said one of the most freeing things to me.  As I feel like I have been failing in the mommy department, he proceeds to tell me something like this.  "You have been wanting me to remind you of the Gospel, so here it is, you already have your gold star. You are accepted. You don't have to be supermom.  You don't have to do 8 different crafts with the kids or cook something from the eat like a dinosaur cookbook.  If you stay at home all day and the boys watch a little more TV than normal and nothing gets cleaned....THAT'S OKAY...I love you."   Thank you Craig.

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